I twice dreamt about u marrying someone else. God have shown me the clue. But i denied. You denied. There were the days i spent my self stressing to make you stay. Now i realized that if you truly wanted to stay, you would stay.

Dear Z, i really hope you could make a proper closure and explanation to all this shits u made. I dont want u. Just be happy with whatever you are doing now. But Please understand that your explanation could lead to thousands of unexplained motives.

I pray that i never come across a guy like you anymore. I doakan none of your siblings or daughter come across a coward man like you. You are full of words. Fake enough to be a devil with a human face. I wonder how u r being raised ? I dont blame your genes. Your parents are so kind. Your mum is a very motherly woman which i dont understand u can still hurt her feeling? Your family members are so full of humanity. Where even u come from actually? How could u be so unrespected to a woman? Dont u ever come across your mind if it happen to your siblings or daughters? Oh yeah. cos you are not that islamic to even think that Kifarah do exist.  Allahuakbar. Its been a month. Its been 4 months actually. well not to say if its including in total of the whole 2 years of fake relationship. Lol.

Sometimes, i still hope whatever happens is just a dream. Cos i never thought it will turn this way. Sbb selalu positive kot, i jadi macam ni. Dulu masa ayah nak pegi pun, i positive he could be heal, then he left. So do u, i postive that our effort wont go to drain but u left. Left without giving me a proper closure. Coward. Pengecut. I know you are now happy. I am happy too . I am accepting the fact but i still wanna know what was i for the whole two years. A joke?  I still cannot brain why did u have to put so much effort for me while u know u are marrying someone else. Till the day u r getting married pulak tu. Pheww.

Everything suddenly become so related. If my uncle told me earlier which he already know few months before , i shouldnt go that far for u. I should respect your decision if i know all about this earlier. But things happen for reason. Allah let us know each other for a reason. Allah separate us also for a better reason. Alhamdulillah.

Alhamdulillah.

The one word i can finally say even i still cant find out the exact reason why do u have to do this. What i can finally understand now is you really fight your love for her. In whatever situtation even tiada seorang in your fam pun agree to your decision. Baiklah.  You left your ex-fiance for her. You hurt me for her. You hurt your mom for her. You dont listen to any advice from your family members for her. She is lucky to have a guy that fight for her. I respect u Z for being so a brave man. I wish you happiness ever after. Amin.

I will be good . I am doing better now. Thank you for everything. May Allah bless both of you. And may all your family and maybe including me (?) understand your reason. Inshaa Allah. Be a good husband , dad and man for your new family. (:

Take care Z.